Posted by: purplediva | April 23, 2008

Hijacked! – Monday 23rd April 2008


I started out with the best intentions….I had it all planned. It was a stunningly beautiful day and I was on top of the world and in fine form. All was going incredibly well until the voices started…….those little voices that creep in from nowhere and tell you that you need food……and LOTS of it!

It was almost 12.30 before I started, so I suppose it was my own fault for not having breakfast, but in my defence I hadn’t actually removed my fat arse from the bed till almost 11.00 am. The result of having yet another very late night…3.00am to be precise…..so I had actually had my required 8 hours sleep that the body ‘needs’…..its obligatory!

So…the voices….they started and persisted and I gave in….VERY easily. I had breakfast (a bowl of cereal with extra cereal on top). I thought that this would be enough to stop the craving…but no….i needed more. after 20 mins wresting with my conscience, i gave in and had 2 slices of toast, lavished with butter and marmalade, and a cup of black coffee…..to give me a boost from the stodge now building up in my tummy. Now another 20 mins had passed and those damn voices were STILL there!!! MORE food needed…..NOOOOO it can’t be…..this isn’t like me at all. Anyway, I had to give in to the craving and stuffed my face with a slice of bread spread with crunchy peanut butter and a banana!!! My stomach felt so distended that If I ate any more I would pop!

Feeling incredibly guilty I thought I should take the dogs for a walk. Now this was a revelation to me as I’ve not walked them for almost a year now, and the worry was that i should forget which way to go, or worse than that, forget my dog walking commands! Not that i needed many because I happen to have 2 of the most disobedient dogs on the planet…….

I planned a little walk….the short route for starters, seeing that it’d been so long since i’d been. But that was after i’d checked emails for the fiftieth time, oh and facebook, and then checked out ebay…..oh and holidays and anything else to waste a bit more time procrastinating…..then ‘HE’ arrived and hijacked my plans……….

“I’ll come for a walk with you” he says….i’ll take you and show you the bluebell wood. Now this sounds quite nice in theory…….so, reluctantly I agreed……oh boy what a wrong choice……..WAS I GRUMPY!!!!

How can something so simple turn into such a trial??? I only wanted a nice little walk in the countryside…me, the two dogs and my ipod for company…..fresh air, and maybe if i was lucky I might make it to the shop over the hill into the next village for a much needed chocolate boost 😉 for sustenance for my mammoth walk back…..a girl has to keep her strength up of course!

BUT no…..now this had turned into a trek…..a trek across mountains and fields. What is it with men? I have a bad knee. Well both to be honest, but the one is bad enough. So normally am hobbling with my stick, so for me, a little gentle amble was trial enough….’He’ knows this. So he decides to take me to the furthest point on the walk to reach the beautiful bluebell wood. Now forgive me for sounding a tad ungrateful at this romantic gesture, but you need to be armed with the full facts that to get there you have to endure a couple of ploughed fields, the wroth of the horses fields, 2 stiles, a further 2 mad dogs….quite a few inclines……lots of uneven ground….and all to reach a cordoned off wood that you can only peer through the fence at!!!!! I kid you not. almost an hour of walking, and when i got there….red faced, and in pain…..and by now….pretty fuming with steam coming out of my ears…..I looked in and said “is this it?” “is this honestly what you have bought me too”??? I couldn’t believe it. Yes, it was ‘pretty’ but it wasn’t worth the walk, the trauma on my knees, or my mental state…..nor the mental pain that i was going to put him through once i got him home……AND now I had to endure the walk home…..minus my ipod which i missed dearly because i had to deal with him ranting about how ‘beautiful’ it was…..AND I didn’t get my chocolate.

The girls walk themselves!

With every painful step I took home I wanted to kill him more and more……but I smiled sweetly 😉

Walking back, you have to pass the only sign of other life in our little hamlet….THE Pub. Only we couldn’t pass it…..Lily wasn’t budging at all! Obviously, those that normally walk the little darlings, stop at this watering hole on the way back…..and frequently…..because she knew it very well….she was up the steps and would have been ready to take a seat at her beloved table no doubt….if the pub had been open! As it wasn’t she wasn’t best pleased and refused to be moved. I had no choice but to carry her the rest of the way home. Fortunately it wasn’t Maddie the Labrador having a tantrum!!!

Lily takes a stand!


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